Thursday, May 28, 2009


Hey guys,
Its 6:10pm EDT and I have to do the 1 hour drive home and the Robbie and Jase part 2 JUST updated so I'll critique by the end of the day
Art - I know that they have been introduced before but I like the new character models of Robbie and Jase, especially in color. It may just be that it is nice to see something outside the normal realm of the PVP offices, but Jase looks good and I like Robbie is excellent. The one thing i dislike is the floating button on top of Jase's hat. I know it may have been part of the original design but it is just distracting and looks stupid frankly.

I love, love, loved, (see not just tearing down) the background in the first frame as addition of the sandwich materials and pots above were nice details and drawn well with great detail. It is a shame that gets lost in the subsequent panels, but I'm happy with one panel.

Two complaints:

I don't get the shading of the eyes though the strip as the blotches of lighter skin tone look weird and doesn't seem to follow normal lighting patterns.

Robbie basically has the same facial expression in panels 2 and 4 looking like a cut and paste job (subtle differences but WAAAAY too subtle). Also, I don't know why he is looking away from Jase in the 2nd panel as the brim of his hat blocks any "rolling" Scott was trying to go for. If he just had him staring at Jase, giving a more "angry" appearance, would have been more effective.

Story - Meh. The punchline was not spectacular but the "anime" eyes with it make me smile a bit. I do like the fact that Robbie is taking the role he is taking now as he is a) Jase's most trusted friend b) right about what is going on.

Jase could be used as the default "deus ex machina" rich guy for story-lines but I hope this arc results in something worthwhile and funny. I don't think Jase is going to give up his life and will continue in that role, but getting him off his ass in a storyline sense is nice to see.

Ding! no update in 59 days for those who are counting (which i likely me and someone with a bad case of OCD) :)


TheOriginalJes said...

One question - what about the last month makes you think this is an arc?

This could easily be a standard PVP story resolution.

TheOriginalJes said..., technically, it could be a story-line segment...

A Nonny Mouse said...

Wow, the PVP building is four stories high and, judging from the logo being on the bottom window while the speech is coming from the third floor, occupies the entire building. Pretty impressive for a magazine with about five employees.

Djagir said...

This is sort of a nitpick (Monday), but it's one of the things that makes a strip look unprofessional: "Who's" is a contraction and means "who is" or "who has." "Whose" means "belonging to whom." Possessive pronouns seem to be have widespread usage issues...

TheOriginalJes said...

Tuesday - a four panel-homage. It's like three college buddies riffing the movie.

I think it's the kind of humour you have to be "in the mood for".

First thing in the morning - it's not so funny. But, I bet I'll be laughing my butt of at 4 PM.

Is Max Powers now going into business with Robbie and Jase? That'll really chap Cole's a##.

Art - Nice rendition of the Ghostbusters Headquarters, in so far as the line-work is concerned.

For the colors, I probably might have preferred a slightly brighter palette to downplay the gloominess and show off more of the filth. As it is, I feel like there's some "dead giveaway" for some hijinx that may not be as funny, now.

Personal take - This might be the place for Schecky to haunt in his off-panel time in place of Slimer. I'm not a fan of Schecky. But seeing him annoy Max might be nice.

rdy said...

Yeah, I realise it's a straight lift from the movie (and if you didn't get it, it's mentioned in panel 3 just to ram it home) but it doesn't work half as well.

Max talking about 'our power needs' makes it sound like it's Max's business now. I thought he was merely there for advice? And the whole point of the joke in the movie was that it was being made in front of the seller/agent. Without that embarrassment and destroyed bargaining position, it's a weaker joke.

TheOriginalJes said...

I was wrong. It's almost 4:30, and I'm still not laughing.

Also, it's missing the fire-pole.
Robbie sliding down and landing on his ass would have made for a funnier redux.

R.W.McGee said...

I think when roughly a third of your comics are 'satire' of other creative work (or a straight rip-off) it says to the reader that maybe you don't care about these characters and stories so much as making sure you get a comic up on time.

The last week and a half of PvP has been alternately boring and repetitive.

TheOriginalJes said...

Well, today's (Wednesday) is a bit late. Does that mean it will be a little more creative? Or just colored better?

rdy said...

Yeah, noticed that they're not being put up as early as they used to, recently. Guess we're either going to lose colour some time soon or drop to a four day week (kidding).

Maybe he was drawing another 'Ding!'?(sorry, couldn't resist). ;)

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