Wednesday, July 16, 2008

I hate this SO MUCH

You want to know why I haven't been writing much about the latest story line? Because I HATE IT. I can't be objective about it. I can't even process the words to try and be objective about it.

So here is some crap that I can't claim to be worth reading. much less writing, but maybe if I get it out it will help.




I appreciate the Miyagi knock-off; I have a soft-spot for the original Karate Kid. But every single joke in this story has been recycled crap.


  • The hi-larious formality of the WWF agent with his "It's a snub. Repeat. It's a snub." (Ha! It's like he's from the CIA! Heeeey -- he even dresses like he's from the CIA!)

  • "Panda crack." Just to check on the freshness of this particular joke, let's go to the Google: "like crack for *" -- on the first page of results we have crack for babies, hippies, ears, geeks, kids and knitters. If the knitters are hip to a joke, I think we can safely say it has been around the block.

  • "Panda porn." Oh my... pandas watch porn? Who knew? Oh wait -- everybody. The panda is only the most documented endangered species on the planet; we know they have famously low libidos, and we know they watch "porn". We've known since Fox News covered it in 2007, or when CNN covered it in 2006, or when BoingBoing talked about it in 2004!

  • "The Panda Whisperer." Can jokes start jumping back from the other side of the shark? Maybe they can!

  • "HA! Oh my god. You do dress like a panda." This is just plain ridiculous. Pandas don't wear clothes. (A little grammar joke there to break up the tension. Did it work?)



But, oh well. It's just too bad there hasn't been any other panda-related events from which fresh material could have been pulled.

30 comments:

Jaap said...

Read PVP tomorrow, where Kurtz puts "Panda" in front of yet another word, and hilarity will ensue!

Moo said...

Thank you!

The sooner Scott finishes this stupid panda arc the better. I seriously can't go another week of fucking panda jokes.

Anonymous said...

Someone said the whole reason Scott was doing this panda story was because he's trying to cash in on the success of kung fu panda.

So we can expect lots of LOLBat strips after the release of The Dark Knight. Oh and tshirts for sale, lots and lots of tshirts for sale.

Next week Brent finds a robot friend to fill the void left my Skulls departure.

Cunty McShitballs said...

I seriously can't understand why someone would read a comic strip that makes them so angry. STOP READING GUYS. You don't have to read it! Stop reading. Right now. Family Circus makes my blood boil, and guess what? I try to avoid that. Don't read it. At all. Ever!

Stop reading PvP.

Bob said...

If you don't like reading this blog and its comments, then don't read it, don't come here, go somewhere else.

Go sit in the corner with Kurtz with your hands over your eyes in the fetal position.

Cunty McShitballs said...

You can't talk to me like that!

I'M CUNTY MCSHITBALLS.

Anonymous said...

Wow....it's hard to not point out the laughable conundrum here. "If you don't like the blog don't read it." on a blog that won't do the same to a comic.
This blog has totally jumped the shark.

Sage said...

We read the comic, thats how we know its just meh right now. None of us has sworn off the source material.

Skeeter said...

This storyline is so tedious. I cracked a bit of a smile at the last panel of "He takes his job very seriously" but the rest has been very, very painful.

Applepie said...

You're right annoynmous, PvP jumped the shark awhile ago. Scotts only carrying on with it because his other projects haven't done as well.

PvP is 10 years old, there really isn't much life left in it. Just like The Simpsons. They are still going to keep making them because it brings in the money. They know their stories are crap and so does Scott.

I think theres some good stories left in PvP but Scott is spacing them out and giving us filler crap like this panda arc.

Anonymous said...

@anon 9:47. Wasn't that kinda Bob's point to the person making the same silly comment who posted before him?

Anonymous said...

"So we can expect lots of LOLBat strips after the release of The Dark Knight. Oh and tshirts for sale, lots and lots of tshirts for sale."

2 things:

1. Does anyone ever actually buy those shirts?

2. God I hate LOLBat. lulz! not funny roflcopter!

Chorius said...

"I seriously can't understand why someone would read a comic strip that makes them so angry. STOP READING GUYS. You don't have to read it! Stop reading. Right now. Family Circus makes my blood boil, and guess what? I try to avoid that. Don't read it. At all. Ever!

Stop reading PvP."

We still read PvP because we remember when it used to be good, and we're clinging onto the sad and unlikely hope that someday Kurtz will pick up his A game again and bring back the comic we used to love.

So, yeah, we probably should stop reading and move onto other comics. The really annoying part is, once every few months Kurtz does put out a few really good comics...

Anonymous said...

@8:32 Anonymous. I find your comment insightful and I also bet that movie at least inspired the recent Pandemic :P

I think artists often have the difficult job of balancing their principles with appealing to the masses ($$$). I remember a post that Scott made some time after the introduction of Scratch. He said something along the lines of: that although there were plenty of people who hated Scratch and/or felt he was a rip off of Stewie, Scratch was here to stay because it expanded his audience. (I wish I could find the post, although in searching the site I can't seem to find his posts associated with strips in the archives. Anyone know if there is a way to look up his posts from years ago, or are those gone? It was perhaps in 2004, give or take) After reading what he wrote, I came away with the impression that he conceded that Scratch wasn't very original but was keeping him around for the money. Personally I despise Scratch, as I find him an unnecessary addition to the cast, mostly cliche (i.e. a Stewie knock-off).

On the other hand, I do feel for Scott since he is self-employed. I really respect him for supporting himself through webcomics, which is still relatively groundbreaking. He's in a position where he probably needs to occasionally sacrifice some principles for economics. Although I hate Scratch, I bet he's great for merchandising. So even though I skim or skip most of those comics, I can cut Scott some slack.

Is the Panda story line appealing to a wider audience, or just uninspired filler? I feel like most of us reading this blog are long-time PvP readers who have seen a decrease in the overall quality of the strip in the past few years, and this story isn't doing anything for us.

Jai said...

"Can jokes start jumping back from the other side of the shark?"

This is the funniest thing I've ever seen TFSM say, I think. Nice!

The current storyline keeps driving the same line from Fight Club into my head over and over: "This is for every panda that won't screw to save its species." Good movie.

You know, given SK's supposed dislike of portraying sexual subjects (Although not "suggestive" material, of course), I have to wonder how the climax (Oh, ho!) is going to be drawn. I mean, clearly the pandas will get it on (Or else this nothingness was all for nothing). This reminds me of the "Panda porn" joke; I forgot to mention that I hate how the female panda there is drawn when every other panda so far has NOT been anthropomorphic.

Julia said...

Oh, good. I'm not the only one who hated LOLBat. I mean, visually it was nice, but the joke was so incredibly old and over used.

Fox said...

According to FSM "LOLBAT? Was teh awesome." so he's going to be very pleased when Scott brings him back.

Like you Julia, I think once is enough and I certainly hope Scott doesn't give him a 2 week story arc like the panda.

Fake Scott McCloud said...

For the record -- I think LOLBat was a great one-off gag; I'm still amused by the LOL phenomenon (awesome kitteh!).

I don't, however, think LOBat has any staying power.

Anonymous said...

I kind of liked the observation that Brent dresses like a panda... although I fail to see how that would lead Brent to realise that he is panda "lightning rod."

Zack said...

I still read PVP because I hope it one day goes back to how good it once was. I believe that's why most of the folks here continue to as well. I hate to compare PVP to Penny Arcade but PA has been around for 10 years as well and it's still the best comic I read everyday, and I read a lot of them. PVP however is down there with the newspaper comic's I read for nostalgia's sake, even though I hate 95% of them. Why do I read them? I don't know, boredom I guess, and routine. It's just routine for me to read the comics section in the newspaper, as well as check pvp.

Still hate the storyline. I don't think Brett looks anything like a panda. Panda lightning rod and panda crack. Wow that's original.

In other news did anyone notice he finally updated ding?

J said...

Wow, you can miss a lot in just three days.

Jumping into the pool of needles:

@people who complain about this site for its' 'haterage'

This site is not for those who want to complain about...wait, I realize how stupid that sounds. This site if for those who do, really, like PvP. And they want to keep enjoying it, but the hinderance is the notion that Scott is not living up to an ideal. What once made you smile, or laugh now only makes you groan as characters seem to slip into stale reruns of themselves while their 'adventures' or 'hijinks' are weak filler at best. Maybe our expectations are higher then they should be, but that doesn't mean that PvP isn't not hitting the high notes either.

@this "Panda Whisperer" angle
Scott is watching a lot of TV, and it's starting to show. Panda Whisperer...wow, really? That's the best you got, bring in a Whisperer? At least make the guy a hack and get him mauled, if only to get rid of him. First a weak House reference, now this. What's next, "Big Brother: Season Panda" ?

@panda porn
Why do people think this concept is so interesting? Okay, it's out there, there is panda porn. Somebody inform Hefner, get him to have a special Panda summer issue...get over it, animal sex porn is not new.

Aggro said...

Oh God, you are so fucking annoying. If this shit is what pisses you off so much STOP FUCKING READING IT!

How the hell does one person find so many ways to nitpick ONE FUCKING STRIP?

Here's an idea, grow some balls and do something better. Complaining is fine, but you never shut the fuck up. God.

Sage said...

Aggro
Why do you keep complaining about our "complaing" If this shit bothers you so much stop reading it. Its not even something you enjoy.

Anonymous said...

@aggro : Heh. You pushed the hypocrite needle right into the red and bent it in half with that post, eh?

Jai said...

@Zack: Woo, new Ding!... wait, I don't get it. This is the first Ding! strip I've been unable to understand. Uh-oh.

In unrelated news, did anyone else enjoy reading SK's post about The Dark Knight (Or maybe it's about hype, or maybe it's about revealing too much in trailers, or maybe it's about how he hasn't seen any movies from this summer)? My favorite gem is his list of favorite movies from the last 2-3 years. There is only one title there from more than ONE year ago ("Mr. Brooks"... I don't know why he called it "The Talented Mister Brooks"), they're virtually all from 2008 or 2007. And his complaint about The Dark Knight being spoiled has nothing to do with that list, or even his sensationalist "Hollywood has stopped making movies" opener.

Anonymous said...

@Kurtz hates movies:

For one thing, it's a batman movie with the joker in it. Anyone who knows anything about Batman and the Joker know what a Batman movie with the joker will be like, second, maybe I don't pay attention to movie trailers anymore, but the trailers I've seen only spoiled the fact that the joker is in the movie, and nothing else.

Thanks to Scott, I now hate pandas said...

So we establish that Brent looks like a panda, then today the joke is putting Brent in a panda costume?

I'll let someone else handle this I can't take any more of this pandemonium.

Anonymous said...

The only question left is whether Brent wins and gets molested by the female or Brent gets mistaken for a female and gets molested by the male.

Either way, I'm sure it will be just as hilarious as when the Simpsons did it years ago.

Anonymous said...

"In unrelated news, did anyone else enjoy reading SK's post about The Dark Knight (Or maybe it's about hype, or maybe it's about revealing too much in trailers, or maybe it's about how he hasn't seen any movies from this summer)?"

I find myself marvelling at his idiocy some times. Noticing that if you read all the articles and reviews, watch all the trailers and interviews... then you might... might... just receive some information about the film in question. Don't want this? THEN DON'T FOLLOW THE FILM'S PROGRESS LIKE SUCH A FANBOY, YOU MORON! No-one is holding a gun to your head. Good grief. What's next, complaining that it hurts when he punches himself in the face?

"The only question left is whether Brent wins and gets molested by the female or Brent gets mistaken for a female and gets molested by the male."

Checking the strip this morning, I wondered what was the most predictable outcome I could think of and those two were my top tips. I really hope he doesn't just go for these lazy options.

Jai said...

I dunno, I've got my money on either "Brent loses but the female prefers him to Maul" or "Brent gets mauled by both of them".

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